Jakeism

1.
This morning we were in the car listening to Kelly Clarkson's "Stronger." Jake mentioned that he likes this song.  A few moments later he talks about how it is a confidence booster.  Then, he says, "it's so much better than those depressing country songs.  The ones with the low voices."

2.
Also, leaving the neighborhood this morning he asked me when papers came to the house.  I told him that it depended on what the people wanted and that it could come everyday or every Sunday.  He then says, "those people must have been gone for two days, two weeks or they're ignorant of their paper on the driveway."  I still haven't figured out if he used the word ignorant properly, but the fact that he is 10 and used the word ignorant made me smile.

Week 23

Today is our little one's 23rd week.  I can't believe how fast it's all going.  She is focusing across the room, standing on her little bow legged legs and grabbing at things.  She still hates tummy time and screams bloody murder when she's doing it.  She then buries her head into the ground and does this until someone picks her up.  She's onto me.

She loves to watch the dogs play & loves being outside (but doesn't like to be hot).  This is going to pose a problem being that we live in Texas and it's already been 95 degrees in April.  Hope she likes the pool as much as her bath!

She babbles quite often and lately has fallen in love with Jake.  She was fussy yesterday in the car and he leaned over so she could see him and she instantly stopped crying.  He makes faces and now has an outlet for his nonsense songs he likes to sing.

Growing Up

I packed away the Pack and Play this weekend.  I didn't expect to be so sad about it.  It is where our little one slept for almost 3.5 months of her life.  Right next to my side of the bed.  We could hear her breathing and sighing and all of her nightly noises.  Watching her grow up and hit different milestones is amazing and fun and sad all at the same time.  Our little 5 pound baby is almost 13 pounds now and sleeping in her crib, all by herself.

First it's sleeping in the crib, then it's going off to college.  Too fast...

March 29 - (Posting in April because I forgot to hit "publish")

A year ago today we found out that we were going to have a baby.  This was our fourth try and we were getting discouraged.  It was hard to go to the doctor, get excited, wait two weeks, then find out it didn't take.  I know people go through this for years, but for us, just the four times was starting to weigh on us.

We waited all day to test.  I was nervous and ready for a negative.  I think Christian was too.  I tested and put the strip away.  I didn't want to know.  Christian eventually looked and told me it was positive.  It was one of the greatest moments of my life.  Who knew at that moment that we would end up with the greatest little girl anyone could ask for.

Dream

Our boy goes to school right down the street from where the kids I used to know (helped raise) live.  I see that boy on occasion.  He's in his dad's car most of the time.  I normally don't react and keep on driving.  Today they were turning and I was sitting.  I waved.  It wasn't an enthusiastic wave, just a wave of my hand.  His dad waved back, lacking the same enthusiasm.  We never really did get along. 

It's like i'm living in a dream.  Things slow down, he's right there but I can't talk to him or hug him.  I can't imagine losing one of my own children, but I have to say this is possibly pretty close.  Lately i've been thinking a lot about him.  I'm cleaning off my computer and I think the pictures are spurring the thoughts.  Before it was every few days.  Lately, it's every day.  I miss him.  I miss his sister too.  It's been two and a half years since I hung out with him. 

I wouldn't change my life as it is right now for anything.  Not even to get to spend time with him.  My life is wonderful.  My daughter, stepson and love of my life are more awesome than I could've imagined.  It's just hard to be the one that wanted to protect the kids and wanted to tell them the reality and their own mother wouldn't.  It's aggravating that that is his story, that he won't ever know the real reasons that i'm gone and out of his life.  I was miserable.  The kids were the only reason life was ok.  The kids are the reason I stayed for so long.  I fought for those kids for a VERY long time.

Just miss him.

Cadbury Eggs

We did an egg hunt for Jake today.  We slacked off yesterday not thinking he would care too much about it.  We were wrong.  So today, we had a hunt.  First, the boy couldn't find a neon pink elephant in a black room.  Second, I rock at egg hunts.

While going through his loot he found some mini Cadbury eggs.  Christian commented on how the mini Cadbury eggs were better than the big ones because the ratio of chocolate to creme was better.  He thought a minute and said, "how are these different?"  Christian replied with the fact that they are smaller and he said "oh, I thought I had just grown a lot!"

Our sweet little man...

Oh yeah, also, he had some Krackel in his easter eggs.  He was reading it and said "Krackel, made with crisp-ped rice."  He still has some learning to do. :)

Cupcakes and Blood

Monday will be the first time i've played softball since December 2010!  I can't believe it's finally here.  Between the shoulder surgery and the pregnancy, softball was only something I got to watch.  Monday, I play.

The team made new shirts this season and to make sure that Parker matched, I got some iron-on transfer paper and created her Cupcakes and Blood onesie.